Gail Sheehy is an American treasure and one of this nation's best writers, whose signature work Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life changed the way we look at the inner lives of adults forever more than three decades ago. She has written 11 more books since Passages in 1976, yet none of them have interested me more than her latest, Passages in Caregiving: Turning Chaos Into Confidence.
Her recent Newsweek column (hit the link below) describes this book's abrupt turn in focus from her 1995 sequel, New Passages, that urged women to celebrate their fiftysomething years as "the most liberating passage" in their lives, to warning Baby Boomers about "the Boomerang," the time in a middle-ager's life when she or he has to take on the role of a day-to-day caregiver all over again for a family member or parent whose life expectancy is far longer today than it has ever been.
In her latest, Sheehy chronicles the 17 years she spent as a caregiver for her husband Clay Felker (journalist and founder of New York Magazine) who eventually died of throat cancer in 2008, as well as the many life lessons she learned along the way, some of which we've discussed in this space, as well as many tips and resources for the caregiver.
The universal truth that keeps hitting home with me in stories written by or about Sheehy and her newest book: Because the task of caregiving is often a long and difficult one, you must take care of yourself as well as you would the person you're guiding through this impossible passage of life. Do something good for yourself every day, without guilt.
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Newsweek June 18, 2009
San Francisco Chronicle June 21, 2010
AARP Magazine May 2010